Wednesday, June 22, 2016

AUDIOBOOK REVIEW: REN: GOD'S LITTLE MONSTER BOOK 2

Patrol Log:  0706222016

Audiobook Review On Ren:  God's Little Monster, Ren #2






Rated it













Ren Lewis has the life he’s always wanted: the perfect woman and the perfect job as an agent for the Lucidites, fixing problems before they happen. And yet, he’s still miserable. He blames the monster buried inside of him for his problems. But what this redheaded Brit doesn’t realize is his life is about to be intensely transformed. Problems that he never could have fathomed begin to surface one at a time until his life quickly spirals out of control. Ren, who has never considered himself quite human, is about to learn just how flawed and vulnerable he really is. There just might be problems he doesn’t have answers for, villains he can’t defeat alone, and a heart in his chest that is actually capable of breaking. Readers witness a new side to this man, a side that will make him, if for only an instant, appear human. This powerful genius will meet his match. And she has the ability to do something special. She can break Ren Lewis.








Ren Lewis, one of the most powerful Lucidites in the world, is about to fall hard....


When we last left Ren, he had just reunited with the love of his life, Dahlia, after 20 years. As Ren and Dahlia settle back into each others lives, Ren receives bad news from the head of the Lucidites Institute and friend Trey. While Ren is trying to process this news and worm his way into a level 5 case that is eluding the agents, BAM! Is it true? And if it is, what will Ren do?


Holy sheep skin! This has to be one of the funniest, and most entertaining books from Noffke to date! Ren has been through a lot in his life, most of it horrible and sad, so when parenthood befalls him, it's pretty hilarious. Ren is approached out of the blue by a young girl that looks oddly familiar to him. Well it's because she is his long lost daughter, the one he never knew existed. Despite the fact that Ren hates everyone, except his father and Dahlia, I wasn't quite sure how he was going to proceed with his young offspring, but I was delightfully surprised on how he did.


While Ren is playing catch up and begins to train his daughter on how to control her powers, Dahlia shows her true colors. We all know what a Diva she is, being a famous Pop Star and all, but really, jealous of a mans own child...petty. The whole story is very endearing, and gives me a deeper look into Ren's heart, and how all he really wants is to not be alone in this world. He loves Dahlia to no end, and cares deeply for his father, but with a child, he's not sure what to do. The girl is bright, just like Ren, and quick witted with the retorts at Ren. I love how they both interact with one another. They are two peas in a pod for sure! I am extremely interested in their future. How the family dynamic will turn out and such. For now, the immediate future is still uncertain. Plus this new threat against Ren and another very powerful Lucidite that has been a very bad monkey! Stay tuned for more action, drama, and certainly comedy!


Narrator Review
Tim Campbell returns! Tim is such an awesome narrator, and fits Ren's character to a “T”. The addition of the new character was no challenge for Tim! Great job with the voices, the acting and above all else, the amazing story telling ability you possess. ~5 Fangs.












Ren: God's Little Monster



Available Now On

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Monday, June 20, 2016

BLOG TOUR: THE KING'S FATE, CORVIDAE GUARD, BOOK 1

Patrol Log:  0606202016

 



The King's Fate
Corvidae Guard, Book 1
by Rissa Blakeley

Paranormal Romance
Release Date: June 7, 2016

In a world where Fae and Vampire will forever be at odds, a Vampire wins the crown, ruling the Fae Realm for the first time in history.

An Incubus, Leolin Kyffin, and his barren Succubus, Louise Bach, plot to end King Zachariah Orsova’s life, allowing them to rule the Fae Realm.

Through Louise’s encouragement, Leolin walks into a female Vampire’s dream and mates with her, breaking Zachariah’s law. His hope is to create what he thinks will be the most powerful half-breed known to the Realm.

When Zachariah kills the Succubus, Leolin vows revenge, sacrificing his half-breed son, Monty Saxon, and using him as a pawn to tear out the King’s heart, hoping to make him feel the pain of death while living.

When Leolin walks into Zachariah’s dreams, he fills his mind with unimaginable thoughts and desires. Doing the same to Monty, he secures his devious plot, patiently waiting for the precise moment Zachariah and Monty will be brought together as one.

The choices Leolin makes all add up to delivering a fate worse than death to his half-breed son and the King of the Fae Realm. Will Leolin avenge the murder of Louise? Will Zachariah and Monty survive, or will they be left suffering in the end?


Where to buy


Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/1P503Sy








Check out the other reviews on the tour here: http://bit.ly/1Y2wzvZ

About the author


Rissa Blakeley is the author of the paranormal series, Corvidae Guard, and the post-apocalypse saga, Shattered lives, which features a paranormal twist. Her short story, A Little Taste of Naughty, was part of the best-selling anthology, Just Desserts.

As a native New Yorker, Rissa is now a Georgia transplant, who is completely addicted to black coffee, La Croix and obsessively listens to songs on repeat. Her days are full of characters screaming for more scenes, cats living up to their Harry Potter namesakes, lazy dogs, a teenage daughter bringing Emo back, and a Viking husband, who finds her puns less than funny. When Rissa isn’t writing, she can be found procrastinating on social media.

Join Rissa's Militia and sign up for her newsletter today!http://mad.ly/signups/123912/join



 

Friday, June 17, 2016

PY'S WEEKLY NEWSFEED OF WTF'ERY!

Patrol Log:  0506172016







This new weekly from PY is pretty self explanatory!  The stories and images that have come across my feed on Facebook during the week that made me say, "what the fuck"?!  Their were no other words that could describe what I was seeing.  I mean....wow!  So just in case you missed them, here are the worst of the worst I have encountered over the week.  Enjoy :)





3.)  +Freddie Prinze Jr.'s new cookbook was released on June 7, 2016, and his wife +Sarah Michelle Gellar proudly display's her support with a selfie on Instagram.  Just take a look at the comments, as to what Tim Hooker has to scrutinize...



(Lets count down from the worst to the worst-est for dramatic affect!)


2.)  Stephen King's new book, End Of Watch was released on June 7, 2016.  Pictures of King on his book tour prompted an investigation as to his tour schedule, when I found this...



Update for END OF WATCH Book Tour
Posted: March 9th, 2016 12:21:58 pm EST
Below is the list of confirmed bookstores that will be sponsoring Stephen’s appearances. The format for these venues will be on-stage conversations and there will not be a book signing. Stephen will be pre-signing 400 books for each store that will be given out randomly at the event. More details will be released as they become available.

And it gets better... Purchasing a ticket guarantees entry to the event as well as a hardcover edition of END OF WATCH. As a special bonus, we've been told that a limited number of attendees will randomly receive signed copies, so we wish you luck!

Check it out for yourself on King's website HERE



1.)  HEADLINE:  Toronto Family Insists On Observing Son Make Love For The First Time.
No fucking joke *_* 



To read the full article, click HERE



Please email to rimshot.bishop@gmail.com, all WTF'ery content you would like PY to consider publishing.  Thank you :)
  

Thursday, June 16, 2016

AUDIOBOOK REVIEW: DARK FROST, MYTHOS ACADEMY #3

Patrol Log:  0406162016



Audiobook Review On Dark Frost, Mythos Academy #3


Rated it














 Everyone at Mythos Academy knows me as Gwen Frost, the Gypsy girl who uses her psychometry magic to find lost objects--and who just may be dating Logan Quinn, the hottest guy in school. But I'm also the girl the Reapers of Chaos want dead in the worst way. The Reapers are the baddest of the bad, the people who murdered my mom. So why do they have it in for me? It turns out my mom hid a powerful artifact called the Helheim Dagger before she died. Now, the Reapers will do anything to get it back. They think I know where the dagger is hidden, but this is one thing I can't use my magic to find. All I do know is that the Reapers are coming for me--and I'm in for the fight of my life. 







 

Gwen Frost is Nike's champion and on the hunt for the Helheim Dagger. The reapers are also looking for the dagger in order to release their God, Loki, from prison. The race is on and no one can be trusted. Having no idea where to begin, Gwen is way over her head in a battle she knows little about that is coming. With little to no help from the Mythos professors, Gwen must glean what information she can from the reaper Preston. He's the one they recently captured and imprisoned. Will Gwen find out in time who the infamous “reaper girl” is before it's too late?

So this book was full of surprises! We found out in the end of the last book that Gwen had to find the Helheim Dagger, the last piece of the puzzle that would free Loki from his prison. Grace, Gwen's mother, hid the dagger and died for it. Now the dagger is Gwens responsibility. Right now Gwen is being haunted with the knowledge that Preston, along with another reaper girl, killed her mother. She is also terrified of losing her bf Logan, a Spartan that she is deeply in love with, and knows his secret, but he doesn't know she knows, oy! And if that wasn't enough teen drama, Daphne comes into her power in the middle of a crisis, and turns hateful on everyone because it wasn't the power she was expecting. This is only the calm before the storm! There is deceit, betrayal, action, adventure, and death still to come!

I was on the edge of my seat and truly thought Gwen was going to die! The fear of losing our beloved heroine was too much! I didn't hit pause one time during that chapter! The fact that Nike gave Gwen a choice, (free will and all) really hit home with her I think. Gwen was at a cross roads because of how her magic developed, and the rift between her and Logan, and Nike just laid it out for her. You don't have to do shit! Well she didn't say it like that, but you dig me. This chapter in Gwen's life was, if nothing else, a weight lifted off her shoulders. She was able to put to rest some things from her past and come to an understanding and acceptance with the new things in her life. I feel good about where this story is going and look forward to hearing it all unravel through my ear buds, one chapter at a time.

Narrator Review
Tara Sands continues to deliver a wonderful performance as Gwen Frost and her friends! I love you Tara, keep up the great work!










Dark Frost (Mythos Academy, #3)



Available Now On

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Monday, June 13, 2016

SALE BLITZ: MORE THAN A FLING

Patrol Log:  0306132016


SALE BLITZ FOR MORE THAN A FLING BY AMBER NATION!











SYNOPSIS

Julia Caldwell has long since mastered the art of seduction in order to catch the only thing on her radar; one night stands. Having two failed marriages under her belt, she’s learned to keep her feelings in check and remain aloof, not wanting to get caught up in another pesky relationship only for it to end eventually in heartache. As the manager of a prestigious Hair Salon in Nashville, she succeeds in keeping the opposite sex at arms-length except when it suits her and her needs. That is until she lands on Cottage Grove soil.

Dean Parker has just as many failed marriages against him, and with being a divorce lawyer it eventually has him thinking that’s why his conquests always fall through, due to his occupation. After seeing his two childhood friends rekindle their flame and earning the happily ever after he so desperately craves, he decides to give up. That it’s not worth the heartache he’s been put through. Until he meets the snarky spitfire who gets under his skin.

Throwing the two of them together in the same town for the wedding of their best friends, Julia isn’t against having another fling, even if it is with Dean, but he definitely has other plans of making it more than that. Amongst their non-defined affair, lurking somewhere in the darkness is a shadow from one of their pasts who will stop at nothing to make sure that happily ever afters stay where they belong, in the fairy tales.




BUY LINKS

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1Pjs8Wl
Amazon CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00Z5IFKGG
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00Z5IFKGG
Amazon AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B00Z5IFKGG

Friday, June 10, 2016

AUDIOBOOK REVIEW: KISS OF FROST, MYTHOS ACADEMY #2

Patrol Log:  0206102016





 Rated it














 I’m Gwen Frost, a second-year warrior-in-training at Mythos Acad­emy, and I have no idea how I’m going to sur­vive the rest of the semes­ter. One day, I’m get­ting schooled in sword­play by the guy who broke my heart—the drop-dead gor­geous Logan who slays me every time. Then, an invis­i­ble archer in the Library of Antiq­ui­ties decides to use me for tar­get prac­tice. And now, I find out that some­one at the acad­emy is really a Reaper bad guy who wants me dead. I’m afraid if I don’t learn how to live by the sword—with Logan’s help—I just might die by the sword... 








Gwen Frost, a Gypsy from the hood, is in trouble, again. After surviving her first attack by a reaper in Book One, Touch Of Frost, she now realizes that everything they have been teaching her at the Academy is not only true, but very real! Now that Gwen is ready to take her heritage seriously, she is knee deep in training at school. And then attempts on her life stir up old, bad memories. Will Gwen learn the truth behind the attacks before it's too late?!

In this next chapter of Gwen's life the story goes up about ten notches in the drama and action department! OMG! I was loving how Gwen tapped into her Gypsy magic and learned new things, it was amazing! The story was circled around the Winter Carnival. The students get to go to a ski resort every year and join the other Mythos Schools around the country and party, and Gwen wasn't having it until her bestie, Daphne, talked her into it. Gwen has been heart broken over the rejection from Logan. She didn't want to be around him and his girlfriend who are sucking face all the time, yuck! But fate had other plans for the young Gypsy Girl and once she met Preston, all bets were off. Preston was a scrumptious distraction from the attempts on her life until she was swept away in a horrific avalanche!

Kiss Of Frost was a book of revelations. Gwen learns more about her mother's past and her destiny as Nike's champion. Gwen also stumbles upon a new ability she is able to tap into with her pyschometry that makes her fighting skills ten fold. Knowing Gwen was Nike's champion, you kinda had to see her abilities increase because just having pyschometry was not really a true warriors weapon. I mean come on, it's neither a fighting skill nor a weapon! Along with the new magics comes an unexpected new friendship. Oliver, one of Logan's best friends, began as an enemy and turned in to really good friend. I truly wasn't expecting it, and in fact it made me all tingly inside when they bonded. I really love how Gwen's story has evolved, and I look forward to her next challenge in Book 3, Dark Frost!


Narrator Review
Tara Sands narrates for Jennifer in her Mythos Series. Tara has an excellent range of voices for this book, and she gives the story such life. The challenging role, especially in a YA setting has not gone defeated by Tara. Tara does an excellent job with entertaining me, and giving the proper tone to each character in the story. ~5 Fangs!










Kiss of Frost (Mythos Academy, #2)



Available Now On:

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Tuesday, June 7, 2016

BOOK REVIEW: AN ANGEL'S TORMENT, ETERNALLY MATED #1

Patrol Log:  0106072016


*Book provided by the author or an honest review*





 Rated it














Archangel Tegan is an elite soldier who has lived centuries bound by duty and honor, so when he is chosen to procreate with a human, he never thinks to question his orders. Once he realizes the depths of his emotions for the fair-haired beauty who carries his child, he attempts to claim Ana as his own. It is only then he discovers just how forbidden a relationship with her really is and the lengths his commanders will go to stop it.








Tegan is the leader of Angel Warrior's, referred to as “The Elite” in heaven. Their job is to secure fallen angels and bring them to heaven. When Tegan falls in love with a human, he is willing to walk away from his duty to humanity and become a fallen to be with his eternal mate Ana. How do you not crumble into jelly and swoon over that?!

This is the story of when Ashley's parents meet and fall in love. Ashley is the one "Fall Into Darkness" and "Veiled In Darkness" are all about. In order to truly appreciate this story, I do recommend you read Fall Into Darkness first. And if you're a bleeding heart romantic, read both books first! I honestly believe that if Ashley had been given this whole story at the very beginning, she wouldn't have understood and would still be distant with her father Tegan. The timing had to be just right, and the author did in fact nail the timing!

Tegan was true to the cause that he worked so hard for, but when he found his mate in a human he was willing to walk away from it all. I was so enamored with their love story, and fell right into the tragedy that befell them. I was so heart broken by the end of the book that all I wanted to do was give Tegan a great big sympathy hug! I can now say that I adore Tegan for his big ol' romantic heart, and no longer think of him as a douche he kinda came across as in Ashley's book. 





An Angel's Torment (Eternally Mated Prequel): Eternally Mated Prequel



Available Now On:

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Monday, June 6, 2016

BLOG TOUR W/REVIEW & GIVEAWAY: VEILED IN DARKNESS





Veiled in Darkness
Eternally Mated, #2
by Valerie Twombly
Paranormal Romance
Self published
May 30, 2016


Synopsis:

The story continues...

When Eli spots Ashley across a bloody battlefield, he can only steal a moment alone with her. Powerless is an emotion new to the hunter, but it’s one he faces daily when he realizes killing the demon king in order to free his mate is out of the question.

‘Death’ was not a nickname Ashley wished to carry. Being the only one able to stop Lucifer’s evil plan was an even worse fate. When she discovers her true ancestry, fear that she will succumb to her darker side forces her to dig deep for the strength she needs to fight.

The clock is ticking and soon Ashley will face the ultimate test.




Rated it





Veiled In Darkness is part two of the epic love story and battle between good vs. evil! Ashley is the Angel of Death and she is mated to Eli, an Angel and hunter. Ashley has restored Eli's soul to him via Lucifer in exchange for herself. Lucifer wants Ashley's abilities badly, and with her by his side, he can grow his army and pursue his desire for world domination, mwahahahaha!


Ashley had only just begun to learn who and what she was when she was taken by Lucifer. She had already bonded with Eli, and that connection along with the distance was killing the both of them not being able to be together. Lucifer tries to break Ashley and make her a compliant servant, but it doesn't end up working out for him so much. Ashley slowly begins to learn her true nature, and that she has powers beyond her wildest dreams. When Ashley divines a plan to get out of her contract with Lucifer, she pools her resources with the most unusual characters. Once Eli and his band of Angels get involved, they discover what Lucifer is really up to, and that changes the entire game plan. And let the battle begin!


The characters are pretty damn well written! I loved how Ashley's character grew into her new identity! She was a far cry from her “Justice” role in the first book, Fall Into Darkness! Building her family tree, and giving her the knowledge of her parents relationship was well played by the author. If it weren't for that, I don't believe Tegan's character would have survived the story. Also, adding new loyal followers to be part of Ashley's inner circle was a great idea considering how this book plays out. The two new personalities add that certain “something” that brings the present and future together smoothly. The sexy times with Ashley and Eli are panty melting, and a very much needed connection to show how deeply they desire one another. The epilogue leaves me with much sadness. I would have been better off without that nugget of information just yet. With that, it leaves me with anxious anticipation for the next book to see how things play out.
*Book provided by the author for an honest review*



Excerpt:

Eli scanned the battlefield. Hacked body parts littered the ground and pools of blood coated the landscape. The earth groaned as she absorbed the foul liquid of the fallen demons.

The battle had lasted hours. How many he wasn’t sure, but his muscles ached and blood coated his clothing. Most of it from those he’d slain, but some belonged to him. He was too weak and exhausted to heal himself. Besides, his only thought at that moment was of her. He’d spotted Ashley the last time they’d battled. She was seen collecting the demons’ souls and sending them––he supposed––to Hell. Lucifer would likely have her bring them back to life so this hellish nightmare could start again.

Eli cringed at the thought.

He’d tried to speak with her, but when she’d spotted him, she had vanished. This time… This time she would face him. It had been a month since she’d gone. Seven hundred and thirty hours, a fraction of time to an angel but an eternity to him. He missed her so much his heart actually ached. Every morning he awoke and wondered if she thought of him. Every night he went to his empty bed and prayed she remembered he loved her. Had she made it through the day? Was her mind still intact or had Lucifer broken her? He tried not to think about it because if he did, he was tempted to fall again, and this time he’d make sure he made it all the way to Hell. Luckily, his sanity stayed in check, and he reminded himself of the gift Ashley had given him. The sacrifice she had made to save his soul would never be forgotten. He would remain steadfast in his duties while he searched for a way to save her.

She was here and her back was to him. Her hair, pulled into a single braid, draped over one shoulder.

His fingers itched to unravel the golden strands and set them free.

Black wings, speckled with gold dust, were spread as she pointed to each demon and watched their body parts vanish. Eli wrapped his own wings around his body and cloaked himself. Now that he knew she would flee, necessity dictated he hide his presence. She was far too young and inexperienced to escape him now.

He watched…waited in silence as she made her way around the field. For some reason the others ignored her, and then it dawned on him. They couldn’t see her. A smile lifted his lips and pride swelled inside him.

So, my little angel has learned how to cloak herself as well.

She was close. He waited for her to finally tend to the demon body he stood over. He reached out and grabbed her. She gasped, her power flaring.

He revealed himself. “You can’t run from me this time.”

Her face lit with relief then panic. “Eli, you need to let me go.” Anger flashed in her green eyes. “You know I could have killed you!”

“You can’t kill your own mate, so stop running from me.” He pulled her closer and erected a barrier around them to keep others from viewing their private moment. “I’ve missed you. Are you okay?” He moved his gaze from her eyes to her full pink lips then dipped to her breasts. She wore some black leather thing that revealed more cleavage than he cared for her to share. Matching pants clung to her curves, and boots completed the ensemble. Damn she was hot, and his cock throbbed with need.

“I’m as well as can be expected. Now release me, I have work to do.”

“Don’t care,” he stated.

“We aren’t supposed to be together. Lucifer will punish you if he finds out,” she whispered and glanced around, likely looking for the devil himself.

“Listen to me.” He tightened his grip, fearful she’d somehow get away before he had a chance to speak. “I don’t care what that bastard does to me. Do you understand?”

“Eli, no––”

“I. Don’t. Fucking. Care.” He gave her a slight shake to bring her back to him. “He can do to me whatever he desires. If he wants to let demons pick the flesh from my bones then pour salt over my wounds, so be it.”

“No. No.” She struggled to free herself. “Please don’t say that. I can’t bear the thought of him hurting you.” She scanned his bloody clothing. “You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine.” He bent his head and claimed her mouth. Demanding and passionate, his desire for her flared white-hot. She continued to struggle, but he pressed his tongue against her lips until finally she softened and gave in. Opened to him until they were both kissing each other as if it were the end of the world. To Eli, it might as well be. Having her back in his arms, pressed against his erection, was all he wanted. He wanted to take her fast and hard, but this wasn’t the time or place. He’d forsake everything to have her back safe. He broke free, both of them panting from pent-up desire.

“I need to know you understand that I will do whatever it takes to be near you. Even if I can only have a stolen moment. If Lucifer wants to punish me, I’ll take it.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “He can’t hurt me any more than he’s already done by taking you from me. I will not let him have you.” She pushed against his chest, and he freed her.

“I have to go,” she whispered.

“I will find a way, Ashley. We belong together, and I will find a way to free you,” he shouted as she faded away. All eyes were on him, but he didn’t care. Let his brethren believe he’d finally gone mad.

Where to buy:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1Y36AUZ
B&N: http://bit.ly/1UhJIeB
iBooks: http://apple.co/1UhJnII
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1UhJkfY
ARe: http://bit.ly/1QyQ1ez
Get the first books in the series to start the journey


An Angel's Torment, Eternally Mated #.05 (Prequel)

Free at all retailers



Fall Into Darkness (Eternally Mated, #1)




Giveaway: 1 Angel wing necklace (US only for shipping)


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